Knitting

Earlier in 2010, I believe somewhere around late March, a knitter taught me how to knit. Since then, I have become obsessed with it. It is not so much the idea of knitting and creating a certain piece, but more the process of knitting and how much stress can be relieved, how many thoughts can be killed, and last, how many inconsistencies become consistent when you are so focused but so free in what you are doing. It sounds somewhat ridiculous, but it is really therapeutic. My mother used to knit and she learned it from my grandmother who learned it from my great grandmother. She speaks of the designs they used to knit, designs of rabbits, birds, puppies, and flowers. And she speaks of the detail that must be followed, but the satisfaction of the outcome. How my great grandmother used to knit sweaters for my grandmother, who used to knit cardigans for my mother. It all seems so evolutionarily needy, and I promise I will teach my little girl to knit. Because if anything, she will appreciate how the art is carried from generation to generation. Even if my mother didn't teach me, it's the notion that I was taught, and I now know how. It's the idea of knowledge that passes between generations that gives me the satisfaction of being a part of it.

My progress is noted. (Top to bottom, first to third respectively.)

My first knitting project. An extremely skinny scarf.

My second knitting project. A normal width,

multicolored scarf.

My third knitting project. I learned how to knit & purl. (I t

hink it was on accident.)

So with that, I was able to create textural difference in my scarf. It looks great to me.

I want to make mittens next...Something tells me that is a lot more difficult than a scarf. Knitting mittens, here I come.

Writing

I have been pointed out my best friend that I need to update my blog. I shamefully left this blog sitting here for almost exactly five months. What kind of blogger am I. (?). Today I woke up and wore Fall clothes in the assumption that it would in fact not, be 80 degrees outside. It, in fact, was. That's good, because I came home in a sweat. I have been working on this song I wrote for a few days since I had a relaxing weekend after a couple tough weeks. Posting lyrics here. I've only come up with lyrics as my piano is broken, maybe. It may just need a new adapter or batteries. Anyway, life is lonely without it.

I don't know what I want to call this song, maybe if you read it you can tell me a good song title.

It’s September

It’s raining

The sole of my brown boot

Is entertaining

It’s covered

In a mush of yellow leaves

And I’ve discovered

The meaning

Of seasons of you and I

It’s not concerning

my thoughts meandering

I’ve just now come to know why

You are Summer

I am Autumn

I am weak

You are bold

We are changing

Effortlessly

You in the light

Me in the dark

I cannot simplify this baby

But I know it will not work

We are changing

We are seasons

But we’re different

For what it’s worth

[Insert some creative piano solo, 42 seconds]

Cause in September

I want an April

In October I want a May

And in November

I’m craving August

But December, you’re in my way.

You are Summer

I am Autumn

Let’s let it be

Live like our seasons

We don’t mesh

We’re just in love

Just like that eagle and that dove.

You are summer

I am Autumn

He’s October

I’ve fallen for him.

And those leaves

That were yellow

Turned red

And into brown

I’ve got to leave this place

Autumn was all I made of this town [x4]

I really want my piano to start working so I can come up with some instrumental instead of just writing. Also I want my best friend and other half Jocelyn to play some violin for the song as well. I think it will be a hit, you know, in the Autumn, in the coffee shops.

Growing

Here's the day you hoped would never come.
Don't feed me violins just run with me through rows of speeding cars.
The papercuts, the cheating lovers, the coffee's never strong enough,
I'll always think it's more than just bad luck.
There, there baby it's just textbook stuff. It's in the ABC's of growing up.

Hi, Finals.
Hi, Summer.
Hi, Future.

I think I'm ready for you.

Celebrating

These past couple of weekends have been absolutely, indescribably phenomenal. It was my best friend's birthday the weekend of March thirteenth, and her (Sharon) being 21 (finally), we celebrated accordingly. I'm not sure why I said finally as I have a couple months till that ripe, blossoming age...but I was and am excited for her. Started off with a well-needed girls night Friday night, continuing with a get together at my place and off to the bars that following night. Some interesting things happened there, and it was my first time being out single in sometime. Which is why it was interesting. This whole single life is bittersweet; I think I like it the most when it's a girl's night and I don't care to think about men. But then when I'm around men I get the literal taste of bitterness in my mouth and feeling in my soul. But it was a really great weekend overall. We went shopping previous to Saturday night and I bought these ridiculously high heels that I wore to the bar that night with a flirty dress, and managed not to stumble or fall. Needless to say, I was proud of myself. This past week I had three exams that I did extremely well on leading me to think that being single has a strong correlation of r=.72 with increased G.P.A. The semester shall tell.

Currently, home for spring break enjoying home cooked meals, not so home cooked meals when I choose to go to Greek restaurants and eat the entire menu, and most of all, enjoying time with Mom, Dad, Brother, and Sister that I have been really missing. I have about 5 days till I go back so my relax time is over, I've unfortunately got a lot of work to do over break. That's okay, I'll feel accomplished when I do.

On the last note, I really wanted to see "Remember Me" so my sister and I saw it on Saturday. Contrary to the harsh and senescent older generation of critics who fail to understand the beauty of youth, conflict, family and love to our present day understanding, I really did enjoy the film. Maybe I'm biased to the producer's inclusion of Sigur Ros' "Andvari" in the film which almostmade me shed a tear to the beauty of the instrumental music.

So, this weekend was about celebrating family, and the last weekend about celebrating friends. I can't ask for much for than that, a good life follows.

Breathe

Help, I have done it again. I have been here many times before.

....


Warm me up and breathe me.

Crashing

This past week I was desperately wanting to go home, and today is Friday and I'm home bound. I miss my mom and dad and siblings. Living alone at school can get lonely, but I didn't really feel like I was really living alone until these past two weeks. Have been the most lonely weeks ever, but I sort of set myself up for it. And so did someone else. I thought that I was a pretty strong girl but sometimes loneliness will make you feel the weakest ever, and I was so tired of it. I think I listened to Butch Walker's "best thing that you ever had" on repeat as often as I could, and even managed to rummage some chords on the piano and sing it myself. I have been listening to Butch Walker since freshman year of high school when a girl who I don't think ever remembers me named Lisa burned me his CD because we connected over music in ironically, the other most lonely year of my life, freshman year. Seriously, the timing of all this is to die for. In any case, after listening to this song freshman year of high school which was in 2003, it being 2010 and listening at least once a week for seven years makes it worth something. The lyrics of the song are so simple and I wish I could just print them in size 72 Cambria font and poster them up in front of some peoples lives.

In other news today is possibly the most annoying day on Campus otherwise known as Unofficial, it is 9 51 am, been awake since 7 00 am and I am already annoyed. Short tempered, or just a downer? Short tempered, and trust me, I have reason. I participated in it freshman year and while it was funny, it's honestly degrading to ones intelligence and the past year and this and next year I refuse to participate and associate with any such person who does during the day. Again, short tempered.

Higher note: I get to plan my Eurotrip this weekend and potentially book tickets. All seems unreal but most desirable. I have been doing really good in my latest exams, papers, etc. This is making me feel sucessful and maybe this loneliness will get me straight A's this semester. Next weekend is my best friend's birthday and I have not been looking forward to anything as I am to this weekend in a while. I intend, without doubt, to take plenty of pictures and will post accordingly. I need to start taking pictures more because I keep forgetting the great times and dwelling on the bad. What a cynic.

This week was refreshing, reviving, but still bad.

Lowest note: Even on my worst days, I was never quite like this; In one respect or another, I've gone as far as I can go with certainty without crashing.

Senescent

I realize that this word sounds like an adjective, but according to the dictionary, it is the process of growing old. Therefore, it can be used as a verb. Today all I wanted to do was stay in bed. Im twenty going on eighty-five, I think. I like it that way sometimes.
Sincerely,
Senescent youth