Friday, March 5, 2010


This past week I was desperately wanting to go home, and today is Friday and I'm home bound. I miss my mom and dad and siblings. Living alone at school can get lonely, but I didn't really feel like I was really living alone until these past two weeks. Have been the most lonely weeks ever, but I sort of set myself up for it. And so did someone else. I thought that I was a pretty strong girl but sometimes loneliness will make you feel the weakest ever, and I was so tired of it. I think I listened to Butch Walker's "best thing that you ever had" on repeat as often as I could, and even managed to rummage some chords on the piano and sing it myself. I have been listening to Butch Walker since freshman year of high school when a girl who I don't think ever remembers me named Lisa burned me his CD because we connected over music in ironically, the other most lonely year of my life, freshman year. Seriously, the timing of all this is to die for. In any case, after listening to this song freshman year of high school which was in 2003, it being 2010 and listening at least once a week for seven years makes it worth something. The lyrics of the song are so simple and I wish I could just print them in size 72 Cambria font and poster them up in front of some peoples lives.

In other news today is possibly the most annoying day on Campus otherwise known as Unofficial, it is 9 51 am, been awake since 7 00 am and I am already annoyed. Short tempered, or just a downer? Short tempered, and trust me, I have reason. I participated in it freshman year and while it was funny, it's honestly degrading to ones intelligence and the past year and this and next year I refuse to participate and associate with any such person who does during the day. Again, short tempered.

Higher note: I get to plan my Eurotrip this weekend and potentially book tickets. All seems unreal but most desirable. I have been doing really good in my latest exams, papers, etc. This is making me feel sucessful and maybe this loneliness will get me straight A's this semester. Next weekend is my best friend's birthday and I have not been looking forward to anything as I am to this weekend in a while. I intend, without doubt, to take plenty of pictures and will post accordingly. I need to start taking pictures more because I keep forgetting the great times and dwelling on the bad. What a cynic.

This week was refreshing, reviving, but still bad.

Lowest note: Even on my worst days, I was never quite like this; In one respect or another, I've gone as far as I can go with certainty without crashing.

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